“our disappointed hearts will heal.”(photo from Google)
We come from all of this innocence. We are born with an abundance of it. And then we grow up and learn that, hey, maybe princesses don't always live happily ever after. We see one day that our parents are human beings and are less than perfect in a beautiful kind of way. We learn that the things we said we'd never do when we were 5, we end up doing when we are in our teens - things like kissing boys and moving away from home and perhaps learning to love someone. We find that sometimes people just want to use us. And that people who shouldn't disappoint us do. And that one day you'll get that phone call that you never wanted about something you never could imagine.
Life seems to be this inevitable journey from illusionment to full blown disillusionment. And we are expected or we strive to keep a child-like faith and love the butterflies in the spring and the first flakes of wintry snow.
There isn't a purpose to most of my rantings. I lose track quickly and words often fail me. But do you understand where I'm coming from, perhaps, where I'm going?
It's just one big contradiction. We need to grow up to become less naive but keep our spirits young and youthful. We need to realize that people are sinful human beings who will stab, kill and disappoint but to never loose our trust in humanity. We need to treat everyone fairly but still know that each of us has dark secrets that are seemingly unforgivable. We need to have balance and live in harmony and share houses with spouses and children and be a wife and a mom and a good woman to a good man but still keep our individuality and passions we had in our 20's.
Contradiction and ambivalence. But its what keeps it all fresh and hard and challenging. We can never be ok because there is always something that could be changed and made new and made better than before.
God has saved us and called us to a holy life. NOT because of anything we have done but because of HIS OWN PURPOSE AND GRACE. this grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time. --2 Timothy 1:9
I can't tell you that I understand, because I don't. I can't tell you that it'll be okay, because I don't know. What I can tell you is that you are a beautiful woman of God. Your dad is so proud of you and so is your FATHER. I am so proud of you. Your words are powerful but subtle. I don't know what this life will bring but I pray that both you and I would live it to the fullest and bring glory to God at all times. Love you Erica.
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