Today is grey. As it should be in April and at the end of this life era. I graduate from college in two days. I'm a college graduate. Almost.
I planned to write this many-party saga on this topic because I really do have a lot to say and words don't come as easily anymore. And perhaps I will if life allows because this graduation from what I've known to what is unknown is something I am having a strong reaction to. A surprising reaction at that.
I've been in school for 17 of my 21 years. And the four before my elementary career are hazy at that. I'm pretty good at memorizing things. I attribute that to my years in AWANA memorizing Bible verses. I never really did catch on to reading essays and text books and I've gotten by well at bs-ing my way through essays. My process of elimination has bid me well in multiple choice situations and I can tell the difference between T and F ok.
During my first year of college I was extremely overwhelmed with the phenomenon of a syllabus. With the knowledge of everything that had to be done during the semester, I felt I had to continually work until the work was done. That soon passed. And procrastination became a problem soon after. Studying for tests the hour before, writing papers the night before and handing them in without any editing.
I had high school down to a T. I was one of those kids who actually liked high school. College was a shocker at first but finally after about 3 years I was feeling comfortable in my own skin. I found a good rhythm.
College has been really, really great. And I'll expand on that at a later date. This year has been quite grandiose - engaged, got a husband, bought a house, got a real job, graduated, moved. I'm ready for all of that to start.
Being graduated and ending (not permanently though) my school-going career means a few things. One of those: Graduation means I can read again.
I read a lot in college. Things that I normally wouldn't pick up on my own like "The Sociology of Housework" and philosophical writings on oppression of genders. But now I can read again without feeling guilty (like I need to be doing homework or writing an article for the paper.) I can read books form my guilty pleasure authors Candace Bushnell and Lauren Weisberger who give me my fix of NYC. I can start on my summer reading list I accumulated a few months ago from an hour spent at Barnes and Noble. I can pick at the New Rivers Press books of poetry and short stories.
Graduation also means settling in. I can get the feel for a real job. I can have all my things at home in Washburn, instead of split between Fargo and never fully unpacking my suitcase. I can just be Scott's wife. We can think family.
Graduation means being a grown-up. And the big 'ol word that entails. Lovely, I'm sure. Up and down, swirly sometimes I'm also sure.
College opened up a lot of new worlds. And I'll write my appreciation to MSUM later. But I remember just being plain excited for life and everything I could be and do and become. And now that that bridge is done being crossed, I'm so excited to put all of that excitement into action.